Living Down To Expectations
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Living Down To Expectations
Have you ever had negative expectations put on you? Of course you have. "You're just like your father" they said, or "we knew you would react that way because you always do". Sound familiar? If so, as I have, you have probably spent a lot of time doing everything in your power to prove them wrong. We tell ourselves that we will never be like those that have helped form who we have become as many of those influences have been bad. We've all heard of the generational curse and many of you I'm sure have been told that you're destined to commit the same sins of your parents or grandparents. Well, guess what, you don't have to live down to those expectations!
As I write this, my very first blog, I come from the perspective of a man whose parents divorced when he was seven. The son of a man who has fallen prey to extra marital affairs many times, the brother of two sisters who have seen much pain in previous marriages, and someone who has personally failed many times in his own marriage to live a Godly life and be the husband I should be. Yet, here I am, married for 21 years with three wonderful teenagers and with my beautifully awesome wife the co-founder of a marriage ministry. You heard me right, a marriage ministry.
So how could someone who has had very little in the way of successful marriages around him be called to reach out to other marriages? It's very simple.... I choose to live up to His expectations rather than live down to theirs! 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that in Christ old things are passed away and behold all things are made new. Paul teaches us also that Jesus became the curse when He hung on the tree, therefore the generational curse is broken in Jesus name! You no longer have to live down to expectations, your marriage can be a success, YOU CAN CHANGE!
You can't change on your own though, and you definitely can't change your spouse. It is only in Christ Jesus that we find the power that will change us forever. There is no self-help book, and no manual on marriage that can bring about the desired change. Those are great tools that help us apply the principles of God's word to our lives, but they in essence have never "changed" anyone, Jesus has!
So about those expectations. It is also Paul who tells us that God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. He uses the broken, battered, least likely candidates so that the whole world will know that it is God who does wonders, not man. That's me, and for whatever purpose He has, that's you. So don't let people's expectations limit your ability to live big for God and, since it's what our ministry is about, have a great marriage. Your past doesn't determine your future, you do. Every choice you make determines it. Psalms 37:5 says "Commit your ways to the Lord; trust in Him and He will bring it to pass." The best choice you can make is to submit everything you are to God and let Him bring forth the great expectations He has for you!
Author: Ty Pipkins
Co-Founder Choose To Stay Ministries