Married In Ministry
Married IN Ministry Not TO Ministry
Having served in some sort of ministry capacity my entire married life, this is a topic I have become very passionate about. I'm not just speaking of full time ministers either. I am talking to all of you who serve in any type of ministry from worship, to nursery, greeter, usher, and the list goes on. How is it that so often we see people actively serving in the church endure the tragedy of a failed marriage or children gone wayward?
The answer is fairly simple, even though the solution is not. While serving in ministry of any type, you must keep your priorities in check. Simply put, you must remember that you are married in ministry, not to it. No matter what level of ministry we are in, it's so easy to begin to feel like we are indispensable. We believe that if we don't do it no one else will and in the process we fail to honor our obligations to our top ministry responsibility, our family.
Far to often churches help create this unstable environment. I myself have served at churches where long hours and going above and beyond were expected. While ministry is work, it's not the only work, nor is it (dare I say) the most important work of the individual. Hear me out on this one, I'm not saying the great commission isn't our responsibility. What I am saying is that the great commission shouldn't lead to the omission of our family responsibilities. I know Pastors whose children aren't serving the Lord right now because the church took the attention and relationship they desperately needed from their parents.
Before we all gang up on the church as the place to point the blame, let's own our part in this epidemic. There is one word all of us who have a heart for ministry need to learn, NO! Over committing ourselves is the main reason we end up exhausted, priorities out of whack, with nothing left to give our loved ones. Jesus in Luke 14 taught the disciples that no one builds a tower without first counting the cost and no king goes to war without considering if he has the army to do so. Don't commit what belongs to your wife and kids to the ministry, use your left over time for that.
Co-laborers in Christ PLEASE understand this truth. While service is a result of the transformation that takes place after salvation, service does NOT equal salvation. Don't be made to feel guilty because you have to cut back in an area of service. You will be much more effective in the service you can commit to and your family will reap the benefits as well.